Maybe, I'm too afraid

Maybe the thing is, I'm too afraid. Too afraid about the curtain falling, the dream breaking - the beautiful idea of love turning out to be an empty ornament. Maybe I'm too afraid that there is no one for me, that rejection is all there is. Maybe I'm procrasting entering the real world, finding out what this 'love' truly is - maybe I love the the idea of 'love' too much. When I watch a movie, and see the eyes of characters shine, when I read a novel, and feel my heart leap with joy, as soft touches of 'love' happen between the characters I love - in that moment, I feel like I know what all of it is about, what it is to be loved and to love, what it is to feel the heart beat, and see yourself in another's eyes. But how can I know? I've never felt 'love'. Maybe I like believing I know it all, from the safety of my home - my books, my novels, my songs - and maybe I'm running away from finding out what it 'really' is, cause I'm too afraid it might be all a sham, or worse a wonder I was never meant to touch. Maybe I'm afraid - but what do I know, I've never fallen in love.